![]() ![]() Why would any man want to climb into bed each night looking like an Ikea store that was vandalized with candy canes? Why? This lunatic is encouraging people to buy men a hideous $170 bathrobe with vertical yellow-and-blue stripes, accented with a red-and-white belt and cuffs. Give me a McLaren and stop running your yap. What does “cin cin” mean? And if I wanted to go “vroom, vroom,” a $250 book on “Ultimate Collector Cars” is most certainly not the “next best thing to a McLaren,” Gwyneth. This one is promoted with, “Whether he wants to go vroom vroom, or cin cin, or chop chop, the stuff to get him there is all here (here!).” I’m sorry, what (what?). Of all the ridiculousness in her new gift guides, the most ridiculous of all can be found in “The Men’s Gift Guide.” Maybe ghosts were spelling out: You got scammed.īut let’s get to the point, which is Gwyneth Paltrow is a man hater. Though last year’s $2,000 Ouija board has vanished into the great beyond. The Goop Gift Guides 2021 - separated into categories, including Lovers, Kids, Hosts, Wellness, Travelers (sic), Cooks and so forth - are as ridiculous as before. I should call my parents and yell at them for the Rubik’s Cube they got me in 1984. But maybe it pays for itself if that woman is supervising her kids as they play outside all winter because she splurged $46,000 on the Bubble Gum Gym with Gold-Plated Details and Lacquered Wood.Ī personal playground that costs more than a Honda Accord? Not sure why anyone would pay that for a neon pink beanie. If there are women who are gaga for Goop - the $508 Elder Statesman Watchman Cap is already sold out - live and let live. That way, I wouldn’t see her rolling her eyes under the tree.īut what I hope even more is that she never buys me anything Gwyneth is selling. Now I’m wondering if I should buy my wife the $322 Kiki de Montparnasse Beaded Blindfold for Christmas. The Goop Gift Guides 2021 arrived on Tuesday. Goop Gift Guides are what would happen if there was a coup in the North Pole and Santa was overthrown by preening insurgents, each in a $332 Fleur du Mal Bouquet Lace Strapless Bustier. I look forward around now to scrolling through Gwyneth’s Goop Gift Guides. Gwyneth could hawk one $500 sock - the bare foot promotes prehistoric ambling while boosting postmodern orgasm - and “Uni Hosiery” would be a trend. Sign up to receive great Time Out deals in your inbox each day.If Gwyneth Paltrow sold a $2,000 Moonbeam Dust Bunny, seismographs around this planet would go haywire as fans slapped down their Visas and Mastercards. ![]() It’s clearly transcended any common sense and human norms. This is the brand that recommended a $15,000 gold plated dildo. Sure, there could be better ways to spend your money-but that’s not what goop is about. The merchandise is arranged to reflect the 12 different categories in the online guide, such as “The Guy” and “Ridiculous but Awesome.” The store will also add a few in-person touches that you can’t find on goop’s website: personalized gift wrapping, hand calligraphy and a build-your-own “Grey Goose Espresso Martini gift set.” On Thursday, Goop Gift opened in Noho at 25 Bond St, a pop-up shop shilling some of Gwyneth’s favorite items this year. But you no longer have to go online to explore recommendations from the Academy Award-winning actress (and entrepreneur)-the holiday guide now has a physical manifestation. It’s chock-full of the kinds of items you've come to expect from the line, like a set of $118 pair of pajama pants and a $6 million private island in Belize. The annual holiday gift guide from goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle and e-commerce brand, dropped on Thursday. ![]()
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